As I am preparing for my second mediation and potential court case, I have to review all documentation to ensure that I have all my facts straight. This has been a fear of mine because of triggers and PTSD. While I was reading the text messages, I’ve come to realize that maybe I have been slightly out of line and thinking out of emotions and not reality. Emotions are very hard for me, I’m a really emotional person and over the years, I’ve been searching for acceptance from my friends and family. I’ve been searching so hard that I have lost touch of who I truly am as a person. Its crazy to think that I’m in my very late 30’s going to therapy for 20 years and I am still searching to be heard and accepted. When, like the Dorthey from the wizard of oz.
“You’ve always had the power”
Glinda (Wizard of Oz)
When I have been very well aware for years of the little girl that I have hiding behind a beautiful tree with wooden swing on it, in a gorgeous meadow and I still chose to neglect her and not love her so she can come out of hiding and enjoy the swing and scenery. I have been putting her on the back burner, as I feel people do to me, which in fact people are just treating me like I treat myself.
Your life is not anyone’s priority and it doesn’t need to be. Your life is your priority, you are beautiful, you are blessed, you are loved, and you are safe.
Motherhood & Mental Health 